I woke up around 2AM again. Pain across my back, shoulders, neck. Familiar now, but still exhausting. My first thought?“Ugh, I can’t write about this again.”I worried it would be boring. Negative. Repetitive. But that’s the trap, isn’t it? The one I lived in for years, where I muted myself to make others more comfortable. […]
Cheesy Wins and Turmeric Fails
Woke up late after a crappy night’s sleep. My back is stiff again, and honestly? I’ve just felt weird in my own skin the last couple of days. Like I’m wearing someone else’s hoodie and it’s all scratchy and wrong. I did a tarot reading last night to see what was going on in my […]
Looking back on May – A Monthly Review
May was a bit of a wild ride. Off-grid living means that everything takes more effort than you think, and this month reminded me of that again and again. But between the sweat, setbacks, and surprisingly satisfying moments, I’ve made real progress. Garden Wins (and Losses) The potatoes are looking good. I mounded them up […]
A Soft Day in the Middle of the Storm
Today was beautifully simple. I reorganized my closets, did a little cleaning, and made a batch of homemade chili crisp (chilis, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, shallots, in oil). It made the whole camper smell amazing. Managed to catch up on my journaling, prepping for June and getting my thoughts down on paper. I even prettied it […]
The Cost of Helping
Well, the GOM has gone. I met every obligation I thought I had, and then some. I don’t regret helping. Truly. But I can’t do it like this again. Next time, the plan has to be different. It didn’t go well. We (I) had everything staged by the car, ready to load. But instead of […]
When Rest Feels Unsafe
Woke up at 7:30am with about 3.5 hours of sleep under my belt. No surprise, my body’s basically throwing a tantrum. “If you won’t rest, I’ll take your function,” it says. Fair enough. Motivation? Gone. But honestly, that makes sense. I’ve been daydreaming about taking two full days off to reset. Not some half-assed break […]
Fuck It, Apparently
As predicted, GOM’s leaving date has shifted… again. Now it’s Monday. The catch? His site has to be cleared by 11am. The problem? I can’t clear his site until he leaves. So, I’ll do what I can, and if the rest doesn’t get done in time, well… he’ll have to deal with the consequences. I’m […]
Still Not There Yet
Technically, the GOM’s supposed to leave tomorrow… but honestly? I think it’s going to be a few more days. We’re still not there yet. The good news? We’ve both gotten better at catching our frustration before it boils over. No yelling, no tears. Just quiet sighs and a lot of patience. I’m trying really hard […]
The Cost of Functioning
Monday kinda broke me. When you’re deep in burnout, it’s like your brain loses its filter. Every negative thought just slips in and sticks. Stuff that wouldn’t even blip on your radar on a good day suddenly feels massive, personal, and never-ending. And when there’s no finish line in sight, your nervous system doesn’t reset, […]
A Twisted Kind of Self-Care
I definitely sleep better when I’m looking after someone else. It’s weird, but true. Caring for others calms my nervous system in a way that self-care just… doesn’t. Right now, I’m helping out my friend, affectionately known as GOM (Grumpy Old Man). He’s 82, sharp as ever, funny, independent, and still totally capable. But like […]