Last night I had an experience that made me pause and reflect on my CPTSD. Someone said something kind, empathetic, even understanding, but my immediate reaction was defensive. My body tensed, my words sharpened, and I realised that even kindness can feel threatening when old wounds get triggered.
Main Takeaways:
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Flashbacks aren’t just memories, they’re physical reactions.
People with PTSD often picture the classic example: a veteran hears a loud noise and ducks under a table before their brain even catches up. With CPTSD, flashbacks are emotional instead of explosive. A certain tone, a look, a phrase can trigger that same fight-or-flight response. Your body reacts before your mind has a chance to say, “You’re safe.” -
Triggers can come from unexpected sources.
Unlike trauma tied to a single event, CPTSD comes from repeated, complex experiences. That’s why someone being kind can accidentally trigger fear or defensiveness. It’s not about the person or their intentions, it’s about the patterns your nervous system learned long ago. -
Reflection is part of healing.
The morning after, I asked myself: Why did I react that way? What does my body feel now? I noticed tension lingering in my shoulders, a rapid heartbeat, and a need to retreat. Recognising these signals doesn’t erase the reaction, but it gives me a chance to respond differently next time.
Personal Anecdote:
Last night, a casual conversation triggered a defensive flashback. We were talking about a local trail, and I mentioned that I’d noticed warning signs about it being risky in bad weather. The person I was speaking with acknowledged that my experience might be different from his, saying, in effect, “I’m six-foot-one, so I’m less worried than you might be.”
Even though he meant it empathetically, my first reaction was defensive: I am not weak. It stirred a flashback to old patterns where showing vulnerability or softness was equated with weakness. He wasn’t questioning my strength or my choices, but my nervous system reacted before my mind could process it. It reminded me that just like a veteran ducking at a loud noise, my body and mind sometimes respond instinctively to perceived threats, even when there isn’t one.
Reflection:
CPTSD can make ordinary interactions feel dangerous, but recognising the signs helps you separate the past from the present. Just as a veteran learns that the room is safe after a loud bang, we can learn that a kind word isn’t a threat. Awareness doesn’t fix it overnight, but it creates space for gentleness with yourself.
Closing Thought:
If you’ve had moments where your body reacts before your mind can catch up, you’re not alone. Your responses are signals from a nervous system that survived more than it should have. Paying attention to them is the first step toward understanding, and eventually, healing.
