Sometimes I wonder if waking up in pain is my body’s way of reminding me to take my meds!
Period is in its uterus crushing stage today! I curl up in the fetal position but it doesn’t protect the pain in the kidneys. I can not move, you just feel each contraction start as the last one ends … I know it will be over in 30 mins … but the white hot searing pain does make me wonder if this is what child birth feels like, as I try and breathe through it.
It’s just once a month I remind myself for the 3rd this month! Each month gets a little less easier to manage. As I let out something feral from my throat as it repeats the twists in my womb that is keeping routed to the spot.
Between the contractions, I get some relief from standing and stretching… only 20 more mins now I tell myself.
This time I can walk for a couple of steps before I am brought to my knees again …. Only 15 more mins I now tell myself.
The feral beast has gone, but there is still and angry tiger inside me, crouch in the underbrush, its claws outstretched, digging into me from the insides… only 10 more mins now I tell myself
My breath changes… no longer deep slow breaths … but small light shallow ones … in anticipation… only 5 more mins now I tell myself.
Every wound on my skin is on fire, it’s like my brain knows my body is in so much pain … it needs to find different places to put it.
I drag my nakedness to the closest, “Today I will wear Red!” I declare, out loud to no one.
I slip on a wildly inappropriate form hugging, tassels around my knees, racing back dress just in time for the last one … this has me bent over my bed, pushing my stomach into the edge …. This one is longer …. It doesn’t stop, but it transforms…. No longer Mother Natures fist holding my womb hostage …. Now a circle of ache around my mid section… and this is it … it’s over.
The pain hasn’t gone … it just got spread out enough that I can function, walk, smile, and interact.
