Woke up late after a crappy night’s sleep. My back is stiff again, and honestly? I’ve just felt weird in my own skin the last couple of days. Like I’m wearing someone else’s hoodie and it’s all scratchy and wrong.
I did a tarot reading last night to see what was going on in my subconscious. The cards basically said: “Babe, you need to chill.” And okay, fair… but how? How do you “chill” when you feel like you’re drowning? What happens if you stop swimming when you’re already underwater?
Yeah. That’s where I’m at.
I’m guessing the well news is weighing on me more than I want to admit. And maybe that’s fair. Water is literally life. I’ve come so far just to be stuck in limbo again. It’s exhausting.
But… it’s the start of the month. A natural reset. A regroup moment. So here’s what I did manage today:
Small Wins & Simple Tasks
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Weighed in at 135.6 lbs (heaviest I’ve been this year – time to rethink my food choices).
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Cut up 3lbs of cheddar and mozzarella into 1oz foil-wrapped blocks and froze them. Keeping it frozen reduces my ability to just munch on it and focus on meals rather than snacks.
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Filled the freezer with cold blocks for efficiency.
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Updated my Finch self-care app – gave my digital bird some love and encouragement.
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Played around with WordPress and tested a gallery plugin. I’m trying to redesign this site and improve my skills with WordPress.
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Planned Monday’s to-dos so I’m not waking up in chaos.
Kitchen Chaos and Trying Anyway
Tried to be a responsible adult and cook some scrambled eggs for dinner. Got a little too confident and accidentally dumped half a jar of turmeric in. I scooped out what I could, threw in some blue cheese to mask the taste… it was still awful. But I ate it. And now my stomach is protesting, hard.
Note to self: Pay attention to which side of the spice jar you are opening next time. *Laughing*
Nighttime Wind Down
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Emptied the water tank in the truck so I could grab a quick rinse (next fresh water run isn’t till the 9th).
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Watched Ordinary Angels and cried. I blame the dramatic music and hormones. (Shoutout to anyone else who bursts into tears at the slightest emotional swell in a film!) – It may also be that special time of the month coming up … thats always a sign, when movies can make me cry.
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Made three bottles of herbal vodka to steep – using some lovely loose-leaf tea from a farmers market trip last month. It’s too hot for Tea these days, and my herbal supplies are still in the small trailer 40 miles away, so I improvised.
Final Thoughts
Today wasn’t perfect. But I didn’t let it defeat me.
I’m still learning how to be soft with myself when things feel hard. Still trying to turn overwhelm into small, doable actions. Still reaching for comfort in ritual and silly little systems. And honestly? That’s enough for today.
